Thursday, September 2, 2010

Lane Kiffin Will Burn USC to the Ground.

My thoughts take me to the Hindenburg. What was a terrible disaster is now, upon reflection, an almost surreal event that despite the tragedy, is an amazing and curious item to watch. It was world-altering history in action, right before your eyes. After the Hindenburg, people gave up on airships, and when people think of zeppelins now, they only think of that big ball of fire falling to the ground.

Oh, the humanity.

Lane Kiffin's debut as USC was more amazing than I ever thought possible. I mean we knew he was an arrogant, but Thursday night took him to almost Roger Clemens-like levels of pompousness.

For a coach to have his team march down the field three straight times and go for two - in the first quarter (and a little bit of the second, I believe) - in the first game of the season is unbelievable... but when you take into account that the coach is Lane Kiffin, very much believable.

I am convinced that if things had not gotten tight, he was going to go for two on every PAT last night. (And the fact that it got close enough to make him stop had to be sweet for all the Kiffin-haters.) But nevermind that he had to stop, it confirmed something I had been suspecting for some time: Lane Kiffin is actually a twelve year old. Now, I never got a good camera angle of this, but I'm pretty sure he was calling plays with an XBox controller.

And the swagger of that Trojan team last night. Boy, did they have it. But this is a major problem. While Pete Carroll had swagger, (and of course they eventually had some troubles) Pete's swagger felt a little bit more controlled. Maybe it was because of the on-field success (probably was), but with Pete Carroll you would just assume that he knew what he was doing. With Lane Kiffin, there is no doubt - he has no clue what he is doing.

It's what I 'reckless swagger'. You know how small children don't understand that their actions have consequences? Lane is still operating at that intellectual level. From the first play last night, the Kiffin attitude was prevalent. A small scuffle on the kickoff. The 'intimidating' head-shaking and woofing after every play. Fumble a punt? No problem - recover it and talk smack. They did it all.
Lane Kiffin told Shelley Smith of ESPN last night that his actions are "calculated". And that's a problem. He thinks he's being smart. Well, he's not. I was trying to come up with a good comparison last night, and the best I could do is that USC is now AAU football. And I think it's going to be a disaster. How can anyone expect this team to play disciplined, concentrated four quarters of football, when their coach goes into the game going for two every opportunity?

How is Monte Kiffin okay with this? I don't understand it.

But in the end, it should be fun for the rest of us. Just think of it like the Hindenburg. While it was tragic for those involved, it is a interesting and entertaining watch.